Thursday, 20 September 2018

Rainbow style, confidence blips + disappointing blog shoots

I've had many favourite styles and looks this summer but I think this rainbow overload of an outfit has to be my ultimate. I decided to go all out in my quest to rock the rainbow; Missguided white rainbow stripe shorts, Sunnylife rainbow pool floaty and Skinnydip London rainbow cross body bag. Rainbow on rainbow on rainbow, basically. Orange is a colour I've also been living for this summer and these Quay Australia tropical sunset sunglasses are my sure-fire. The shirred orange boob tube is another Topshop gem, I swear I just seem to shop in Topshop and Missguided these days. I was so happy with how this shoot turned out; the outfit sums up my style perfectly: beach disco meets retro summer camp.

I've had a few disappointing experiences lately when shooting blog photos and even though this has been fairly rubbish and a bit of a knock confidence wise, I thought I'd be honest and share. I loved every minute of getting these photos at the beach, and I'm thrilled with how carefree and confident I felt. But while we were still shooting the photos a girl and her dad swarmed into our view and asked if we were nearly finished. It was obvious they were wanting to shoot photos themselves at our spot, her dad had already approached our corner and I now realise he was probably scoping out the spot they wanted. We hadn't actually finished, but they just stood there waiting and in the end I told them "go ahead, we're finished" because I couldn't relax with them watching us like two eager hawks.
We packed up, me feeling increasingly frustrated and a bit upset, and walked off just as the girl was skipping around in delight, whooping and setting up some tunes. Obviously triumphant that she now had her perfect location, the perfect location we'd been in the middle of using. On reflection I wish we'd stood our ground but I just felt too harassed and awkward to stay. Shortly afterwards I realised how rude it was - there have been frustrating times when I've wanted that "perfect blog shoot spot" but people have been using it already and I'd never have dreamt of interrupting them. The beach we were shooting at is massive, there's space for everyone and they could have easily found another spot - something we've done many a time, or just waited patiently for us to finish without hassling us. 

Shooting at a sunflower field was our next mission for the summer; we'd set a date to travel to one particular field and I couldn't wait. My hairdresser had done my hair ready for the occasion and I'd got an outfit sorted. We'd missed out last year on getting photos in a sunflower field and I'd been keen for years to make it to one. I was eager to get tons of photos for my blog and insta which I was so excited about. On the day we were due to go we checked the website. Due to all the recent rain, the sunflower field had put up an announcement that morning declaring the sunflower fields closed, advising people who wanted to see the sunflowers to come next summer. I was really gutted, it felt like such a blow. I'd wanted to do something magical for the summer, have one really special blog shoot - the sunflower field was going to be that magical place. 

My next attempt to shoot blog photos was also a bit of a downer. A pretty pink sweet shop that I'd been eyeing up for a while. Due to it being centred in a busy high street I always knew shooting there would be a challenge but I didn't think I'd be shaking all over by the time we were finished for a few good reasons. Add in some dickish behaviour from some instagrammers at Peggy Porschen and that completes the final set of frustrations I've had recently in view of my blog shoots. I'll go more in depth about what happened at both these locations in a separate post; there's just too much to say. Disappointment is something I'm trying to channel into determination, I've realised that you just have to charge all your energy into making the next moment and opportunity more magical than the lost chance. Even though i'm sharing a negative aspect of various blog shoots I don't feel regretful as it's so easy to think everyone else's go to plan when in reality I'm sure they don't. 

Often I try and keep my blog a positive, upbeat place but I think sometimes it's OK to vent and get real about negative situations that can get the better of us. If opening up and sharing my heart on this blog has taught me anything this past year it's that my real life experiences; good and bad, can help people out there feel less lonely and more safe and secure.

I really think there's been more of a shift in blogging and social media. People are tired of the "look how amazing my life is" theme complete with designer shopping tags, fake smiles and twirls. They want relatable content, content that doesn't come with a false review or a five star rating. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself but when it comes to blogs I don't want to be sold something, I want to read something - preferably something deep and meaningful. I've realised I want to create content that girlfriends can discuss over coffees in Starbucks, that teenage girls can feel assured by, that young women can feel buoyed up and lifted by. Instead of people reading a blog and thinking "if only my life was that perfect" or "I'll never be able to afford that", I want my readers to come away thinking "Thank God I'm not alone", and "I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this". At this point in time I'm focusing on raw truth and emotional empowerment.

Since my last post I've thankfully been feeling better in regards to the washed-out hormonal stuff. I'm taking iron tablets and am working on a healthier diet for improvement. Unfortunately just as I started feeling better in that respect, emotion wise I've dipped. The last few weeks have seen lots of highs and lows; I keep breaking down in tears and have been finding it a bit hard to cope with certain situations. Often I'm sensitive, vulnerable and I get hurt easily and quickly. I've felt my confidence crash, and only last night Graham was talking to me about focusing on the positive aspects of my life instead of the negative. He mentioned how I'll let one negative impact the rest of my day, which I know is true. His words struck a chord and I realised I haven't been practising the Law of Attraction at all recently, something which I was really interested in and invested in, something that had really helped keep more of a positive and happy vibe to my life.

I really want to get back into the swing of blogging; I have lots of hot topics to talk to you guys about! Hopefully sharing some of my heart on here can continue to help people ♥︎


Tuesday, 4 September 2018

Topshop sequin boob tube + pink denim

Fellow mermaids! I hope you're all having a magical start to September. I thought it best to bring you a sparkly fashion post straight outta under the sea territory. Style wise Topshop seem to be SMASHING it this summer. This sequin boob tube sent me straight back to 2002 when I saw it on the shelves and I just couldn't resist snapping it up. Topshop can occasionally be a bit hit and miss for me but their summer style has caught my eye this season. Cute rainbow cami tops, beaded bags and dreamy denim. I MEAN. What more could a girl wish upon a star for? 

This pink high-waisted denim skirt was also a gem I spotted in Topshop. Immediately the outfit blessed me with all the feel good vibes I needed; the pink skirt made me feel fantastic and gave me a surge of confidence, a true firm favourite of mine that I've been wearing all summer long. The baby pink hue reminds me a little of strawberry bubblegum too, a total win-win. We found this seahorse beach hut last summer and on instinct I knew it would be the perfect backdrop to rock this sea-quin blue boob tube for some outfit photos. The aquamarine auras were non-stop on these shores, the dolphin dreaminess splashed on two other beach huts were a love potion to the ocean. 
Under the sea-quin vibes in full throttle, I added my trusty Missguided choker to proceedings and fluffy as f!ck pink heart bag from Skinnydip London to the mix. The asos slogan heels matched the blue and pink vibe of the outfit perfectly. We've shot lots of fun outfit photos this summertime and I'll be sure to get more fashion content out on the blog as soon as can be. I think I might even talk about a few confidence knock-backs and disappointments I've had recently whilst shooting outfit photos for the blog. Sometimes it's nice to just be raw and real about things that I probably would have kept silent about in my earlier days of blogging. As you know from my more recent blog posts I'm opening up and talking more personally than ever on the blog, a new dimension I'm really enjoying the freedom of. 
In other news I'm hoping to feel better in all aspects of myself, I've been feeling a little demotivated whilst my absence from the blog has mainly been down to giving myself some breathing space after opening up about my anxiety (which was therapeutic but draining) focusing on editing/re-writing the final parts of my book and feeling utterly washed out from hormones, which seem to leave me run-down for the best part of two weeks every month. I'm trying to make the appropriate lifestyle changes needed to hopefully feel a bit better on all fronts, fingers crossed. 

Lastly, but most importantly, I want to thank you all so much for your support. I'm so lucky to have a lovely support system and feel very grateful for all the kindness I've received, especially after opening up about things that scared me. Everyone who reached out to me in regards to my last blog post - it means more than I can say XO 

Sunglasses - South Beach
Sequin bandeau - Topshop 
Pink denim skirt - Topshop 
Jewelled choker - Missguided 
Pink bag - Skinnydip London 
Slogan stiletto heels - asos 

Have you bought anything in Topshop recently?
I'd love to know what if so!